Saturday, July 26, 2003
Ceased Publication of Sitting My Ass Off
Thanks to all my faithful readers. You two were super.
Visit my humor site: ONE BAD ST animated flash cartoon humor.
Or, go straight to a featured page:
Astral Projection Game
Wrestling with the Devil
Animated Family Portrait
Mind Reading Card Game
Nuggets of Human Nature
Execute Elmo
OJ Sings a Pretty Tune
Funny Baby Pics
iPaint: an Animated Graphics Toy
Funny humor sites: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Visit my humor site: ONE BAD ST animated flash cartoon humor.
Or, go straight to a featured page:
Astral Projection Game
Wrestling with the Devil
Animated Family Portrait
Mind Reading Card Game
Nuggets of Human Nature
Execute Elmo
OJ Sings a Pretty Tune
Funny Baby Pics
iPaint: an Animated Graphics Toy
Funny humor sites: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Jailbait or Legal ?
16 will get you 20.
Rong: Round Pong
Flash. Defend the entire perimeter of a circular playing field.
NasalPik®
Another job lost to technology.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Table Tennis
Flash. Burn some time with a great game of ping pong.
Adult Baby Clothing
"...innovative, well made, custom-sized Adult Baby (AB), Big Baby, Infantilist, Diaper Lover (DL) and Juvenile Adult clothing."
"I will not wet my pants in school. Why not...it's fun ?"
How do you say anal retentive in baby talk.
"I will not wet my pants in school. Why not...it's fun ?"
How do you say anal retentive in baby talk.
8 Questions That Freak Men Out
Nos. 9-20: Can you pick some up tampons ?
Monday, July 21, 2003
MegaPenny Project
Visualize a million pennies. A billion. A trillion. A quintillion....
Australia to Become the 51st State ?
Yah, right. New Jersey will get in before Australia ever does.
Bushspeak Hangman
You don't have to be a nucular scientist to play this game.
Sunday, July 20, 2003
Speaking of Favorite Deposed Dictators
Whatever happened to Idi Amin, the happy cannibal of Uganda ?
Test Your Visual and Mental Acuity
Flash. Challenge your senses. Easier than a sobriety test and no consequences if you fail.
Will & Grace Rules Out Anilingus as a Show Topic
Good taste finally prevails on network TV. Think good taste lost out ? Click here for a mouth-watering teaser.
Porn Stunts Your Growth
Video. But not your sense of humor.
The Political Compass
Answer a series of questions for a quick analysis of your socio-political tendencies.
The Penguin Chat Room
Flash. Where enticing fishbreath and an alluring waddle carry the day.
Chic Anorexia
Lawsuits claiming that Big Macs don't have enough calories are sure to follow.
Hefty Bags
Lawsuits claiming that polka dots make you look fat are sure to follow.
Heavy Marijuana Use Doesn't Damage Brain
I knew that already. I watch The Osbournes.
Saturday, July 19, 2003
Lip Tattoos
When you've run out of places to put stuff.
Ad-Aware
Free software detects and safely removes spyware/scumware on your computer. "Spyware" refers to small, hidden programs that are embedded in larger applications to report information to advertisers. These programs are included in many shareware and freeware programs ( game downloads are a big offender ).
Homeland Insecurity
Flash. Political board game for lefties and for the Attorney General keeping an eye on them.
MS Linux
A new intergalactic conglomerate demonstrates its cosmic supremacy by successfully invading Cuba and by establishing a monkey colony on Mars. Presumedly, all earth children will be phased out by 2013 and replaced with Bill Gates clones, each of which will own 10 million shares of everything.
Asleep at the Wheel
Scary truths about the graveyard shift. What's a vampire to do ?
Friday, July 18, 2003
Self-Pleasuring May Protect Against Prostate Cancer
Works for me. Now where did I put my white cane ?
Human Descent
Someone's been messing with the biological gene pool. The evidence points to the prime suspect.
Dumb American Laws
"Kansas: The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks." Unfair advantage for the ducks ?
Space Imaging Gallery
Landscape photos taken from space.
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Bumper Nuts
You might be a redneck if ... these plastic bumper nuts are hanging from your trailer hitch.
You're definitely a redneck if ... they aren't plastic. Ouch.
You're definitely a redneck if ... they aren't plastic. Ouch.
Jury Nullification
What prosecutors, judges and lawmakers don't want you to know. Apply judiciously for relief of oppressive government.
Spiders and Drugs
The eerie experimental effects of psychotropic drugs on web spinning. I did my own experiment with Raid® House and Garden on 3 randomly selected spiders in my garage: no web spinning at all.
Flowers
Flash. An artistic piece with an effect similar to high speed photography.
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Science Toys
Science experiments you can do with your kids at home. Notably absent: the how many times do I have to ask you to clean your room before you do it experiment.
Brain Slug
"The Brain Slug is a parasitic alien life-form, consisting of ... gelatinous material. This wily being requires a host body to survive, as it has no brain of its own.... Once attached, the brain slug controls all of its host's thoughts, turning them into a zombie-like creature incapable of emotion or intelligent conversation. Perhaps you know someone who fits this description. If so, report them to the local authorities immediately!"
Hello, 9-1-1? I found Anna Nicole Smith.
Hello, 9-1-1? I found Anna Nicole Smith.
Boys
"Whoever is ________ in the shower stop it now."
pa-Chong!
Flash game. Pong with a new wrinkle.
8 Must-ask Mortgage and Refinance Questions
No. 9: What's with the termites ?
Vectorpark
Flash. Interesting skiddle-dos and toodle-bugs.
PawSense™
Catproof your computer keyboard. Invent one that catproofs my face when I'm sleeping, and I'll get interested.
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
I Love...
Sitting My Ass Off.
Battleships
Flash game. Nice version of the classic childhood game.
Demotivators® Collections
Includes the must-have Pessimist's Mug™. "Increasing success by lowering expectations." Like we need help. :-(
The Ejaculator
Handy calculator for the do-it-yourselfer on a budget.
Astral Projection
Guide to the Out of Body experience. Hallucinogens not included.
Monday, July 14, 2003
Boohbah
Flash. Think of the Teletubbies as flower children.
Pierced and Hanging by a Thread
Reminds me of the old movie Coma (1978), in which comatose people were suspended in air until their organs could be harvested. It appears these two have already made brain donations.
Stiff
A member of the 18th St Gangsters of LA tried to hijack an 18-wheeler and, instead, invented a radically different method of pressing his shirt. Not safe for lunch.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
Chat with Kotie, the Talking Virtual Woman
Flash. Warning, men! This could be another female trick to get us to talk to them. (editor: Due to a glitch, the loading bar seems to constantly reload. Be patient and Kotie will appear.)
Flash My Rack
Check out these globes !
Saturday, July 12, 2003
Super Croc
No, not the latest White House press conference. This reptilian flesh-eater lived 110 million years ago and was as long as a city bus.
Pricky Plants
Friday, July 11, 2003
Breast-Rester® Pillows of the Millennium
Soothing and cradling. And furry. Hairball generator of the millennium ?
Christians for Cannabis
Worshipping at the Alter of Perception.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Suicide Bomber: Louis Farrakhan Jighad
Audio included. In the 1950's the leader of the Nation of Islam had a jig as a Calypso singer going by the name "The Charmer". Complete with photos of album covers and audio recordings.
eBay Auction: Sex Education Video for the Retarded
If both of my parents were sterile from birth, will I inherit the disease ?
How to Win at Carnival Games
Hint: your chances of winning are about the same whether you play or don't play.
Hulk Doll Has a Monster Willy
A botched experiment transforms Willy into the Incredible Bulk ?
Modify Me
Flash. A sound synthesizer toy ? You tell me... I couldn't figure out a tin horn.
Screw Ball: Baseball Player Smacks a Mascot
Dink bangs a wiener from behind. Conan O'Brien:The first time anybody's pumped a sausage in public since Pee Wee Herman.
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Beer: The Problem
Flash. Why guys shouldn't drink beer.
Camel Toe Cup
I love 2-hump camels.
National Drivers License Records Bureau
Huge centralized database. See if a digitized copy of your license ( including your name, address, photo I.D. and other sensitive data ) is open and available to the general public.
Weebl and Bob
Flash.The dumbest cartoon that I really like. Piiiie Baahb neeeh.
Post Puberty
Stag Party.
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Beer for the Homeless
Hmmm. Makes 'em soggy and hard to light.
Cool Clock
Flash.
9 yr. Old Girl Marries a Stray Dog
Woody Allen snagged another young one ?
Monday, July 07, 2003
Panicware Pop-up Stopper
I use. I like. Not quite heaven, but gets you out of pop-up hell. Mine goes thunkf when it zaps a pop-up. Free and premium versions available. Thunkf. I like that .
JetBug
Powered hang glider. Potential Darwin Awards nominees.
Malady of the Month
Picture archive of gruesome diseases. Not safe for lunch.
Sunday, July 06, 2003
NASA Astronomy Picture of the Day
Is it my imagination, or should this interstellar cloud of gas get a 15-yard penalty for an unsportsmanlike gesture ?
Maxi Pad Slippers
Great. Monthly curse upgraded to daily curse.
Today's Word: Sesquipedality
There's some disagreement, but the longest common word in the English language might be pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust. Maybe the longest is smiles, because there's a mile between the first and last letters. It's a jumble out there.
Female Domination Training: Feminize Your Man
Women need training in domination like ducks need training in quacking.
Oh well, go with the flow: more Resource Material. Sorry. Hope that's OK. Let me poof the pillows up a little bit. I don't mind licking that. Please don't hurt me. You can have my kidneys.
Oh well, go with the flow: more Resource Material. Sorry. Hope that's OK. Let me poof the pillows up a little bit. I don't mind licking that. Please don't hurt me. You can have my kidneys.
Telemarketer Abuse
Flash. In a more perfect world.
BS Generator
Does your rival dazzle the boss with the most inane, transparent BS this side of Bill Clinton ?
Level the playing field with this handy tool.
Level the playing field with this handy tool.
Bitterness
Have a nice rest of the day.
Aryan Honor
'Nuff said.
Swiss Culinary Delight
You are what you eat. Meow.
Saturday, July 05, 2003
Sex Toy
If Bush Was a Girl ...
He would look like the offspring of Wayne and Garth.
Breast Enhancement and Shaping System
" ...regulates the amount of gentle tension placed on your breasts...."
I've been a Therapeutic Technician since my teens.
I've been a Therapeutic Technician since my teens.
Was Liberia Founded By Freed U.S. Slaves ?
Not quite... Liberia was actually founded by the American Colonization Society, a group of white Americans—including some slaveholders....
Get a Brain !
MOR*NS
Surgical Tongue Splitting
Video. Might come in handy on overnighters with twins.
Friday, July 04, 2003
Strom Thurmond's Black Love Child ?
Integrating his genes.
National Corvette Museum
I couldn't find the National Geo Storm Museum.
Sauna Pants
Korean (Engrish) ad pitch:
DIDN'T YOU TAKE YOUR TESTICLES ROUGHLY WHEN YOU ENJOYED HOTBATH, SAUNA...
PLEASE, LISTEN TO THE SEED'S CRYING CAUSED BY PAINFUL THERMAL SHOCK!
IN KOREA, OLD MEN SAY THAT THE SWEET BOY SHOULD BROUGHT UP AS CHILLY AS POSSIBLE.
DIDN'T YOU TAKE YOUR TESTICLES ROUGHLY WHEN YOU ENJOYED HOTBATH, SAUNA...
PLEASE, LISTEN TO THE SEED'S CRYING CAUSED BY PAINFUL THERMAL SHOCK!
IN KOREA, OLD MEN SAY THAT THE SWEET BOY SHOULD BROUGHT UP AS CHILLY AS POSSIBLE.
Unusual High School Name
Short and simple: What's up with the first part of this high school name ?
Push the Boundaries
And think outside the box.
Threading, Khite
Ancient hair removal method. Chin whiskers putting up a fight ? Bring them on.
Thursday, July 03, 2003
Spawn of Satan
Flash. Not evil, but not nice.
Self-Cooled Kegs
Weapons of mass destruction. When do we attack ?
The Electronic Frontier Foundation
A civil liberties group engaged in the digital age issues of consumer rights, privacy, cencorship and intellectual property.
aUI
Wonder how you'll communicate if little green men ring your doorbell ? Never fear. aUI, the Language of Space is here. "brU bru".
Sitting My Ass Off, Huh ?
Huh My Huh
So You Don't Have To.
Huh, Huh
So You Don't Have To.
Huh, Huh
The Eyes Have It
Flash. My eyes do this after a coupla 6-packs.
Ear Glasses Sound Magnifiers
Only a rumor: Bill gave Monika a set for a little more traction under the desk.
Cyber Sex
sweet17...: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17...: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17...: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
Multi-Monitor Virtual Cockpit
Gimme.
Civics Test
Complete this sentence: When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for __________.
Try this one: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ___________.
Try this one: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ___________.
The Hodag
My pick for the most unusual/unique high school mascot.
The Captive
Flash. A prisoner secretly sends typewritten pleas for help to the outside world. Should we tolerate this kind of monkey business ? Judge for yourself.
University's Educational Studies Dept. Sponsors Clown Training
Job got you down ? Feel unfulfilled and unappreciated ? Got really big feet ? Clown training might be right for you ! Next semester: cheesehead training.
Bikini Line Love Shaver
"...will not bite your v----- or t-------- !" Public service is my calling.
Finger Gun
A man uses his finger as a fake gun in a failed robbery attempt. ( Man uses his head as a proctoscope in a successful procto exam of self. )
Flavor Beans
Relish the savory flavors of your childhood ? Assorted flavors include: tutti-fruittu, bubble gum, spinach, sardine, grass, dirt, ear wax, booger and vomit. On my wish list: hair ball, scab, paint chip, toe jam, Draino, dog lick.
The Democratic Underground
For subterranean liberals.
Marionette Hotties ( not exactly )
Don't throw away your blow-up doll just yet.
Wankers
Roses for Rosie Palm.
Fair Use: FAQ
Copyright infringement or a "fair use" ? Only your judge knows for sure.
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
Sitting My Ass Off
Site launched: July 2, 2003
