Ceased Publication of Sitting My Ass Off

Thanks to all my faithful readers. You two were super.

Jailbait or Legal ?

16 will get you 20.

Rong: Round Pong

Flash. Defend the entire perimeter of a circular playing field.

Adult Baby Clothing

"...innovative, well made, custom-sized Adult Baby (AB), Big Baby, Infantilist, Diaper Lover (DL) and Juvenile Adult clothing."
"I will not wet my pants in school. Why not...it's fun ?"
How do you say anal retentive in baby talk.

MegaPenny Project

Visualize a million pennies. A billion. A trillion. A quintillion....

Test Your Visual and Mental Acuity

Flash. Challenge your senses. Easier than a sobriety test and no consequences if you fail.

The Political Compass

Answer a series of questions for a quick analysis of your socio-political tendencies.

Ad-Aware

Free software detects and safely removes spyware/scumware on your computer. "Spyware" refers to small, hidden programs that are embedded in larger applications to report information to advertisers. These programs are included in many shareware and freeware programs ( game downloads are a big offender ).

MS Linux

A new intergalactic conglomerate demonstrates its cosmic supremacy by successfully invading Cuba and by establishing a monkey colony on Mars. Presumedly, all earth children will be phased out by 2013 and replaced with Bill Gates clones, each of which will own 10 million shares of everything.

Dumb American Laws

"Kansas: The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks." Unfair advantage for the ducks ?

Bumper Nuts

You might be a redneck if ... these plastic bumper nuts are hanging from your trailer hitch.
You're definitely a redneck if ... they aren't plastic.

Jury Nullification

What prosecutors, judges and lawmakers don't want you to know. Apply judiciously for relief of oppressive government.

Science Toys

Science experiments you can do with your kids at home. Notably absent: the how many times do I have to ask you to clean your room before you do it experiment.

Brain Slug

"The Brain Slug is a parasitic alien life-form, consisting of ... gelatinous material. This wily being requires a host body to survive, as it has no brain of its own.... Once attached, the brain slug controls all of its host's thoughts, turning them into a zombie-like creature incapable of emotion or intelligent conversation. Perhaps you know someone who fits this description. If so, report them to the local authorities immediately!"

Hello, 9-1-1? I found Sarah Palin !

Boys

"Whoever is ________ in the shower stop it now."

pa-Chong!

Flash game. Pong with a new wrinkle.

8 Must-ask Mortgage and Refinance Questions

No. 9: What's with the termites ?

Vectorpark

Flash. Interesting skiddle-dos and toodle-bugs.

PawSense™

Catproof your computer keyboard. Invent one that catproofs my face when I'm sleeping, and I'll get interested.

Battleships

Flash game. Nice version of the classic childhood game.

Demotivators® Collections

Includes the must-have Pessimist's Mug™. "Increasing success by lowering expectations." Like we need help. :-(

Boohbah

Flash. Think of the Teletubbies as flower children.

Super Croc

No, not the latest White House press conference. This reptilian flesh-eater lived 110 million years ago and was as long as a city bus.

Christians for Cannabis

Worshipping at the Alter of Perception.

How to Win at Carnival Games

Hint: your chances of winning are about the same whether you play or don't play.

Hulk Doll Has a Monster Willy

A botched experiment transforms Willy into the Incredible Bulk ?

National Drivers License Records Bureau

Huge centralized database. See if a digitized copy of your license ( including your name, address, photo I.D. and other sensitive data ) is open and available to the general public.

NASA Astronomy Picture of the Day

Is it my imagination, or should this interstellar cloud of gas get a 15-yard penalty for an unsportsmanlike gesture ?

Today's Word: Sesquipedality

There's some disagreement, but the longest common word in the English language might be pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust. Maybe the longest is smiles, because there's a mile between the first and last letters. It's a jumble out there.

BS Generator

Does your rival dazzle the boss with the most inane, transparent BS this side of Bill Clinton ?
Level the playing field with this handy tool.

Aryan Honor

'Nuff said.

Strom Thurmond's Black Love Child ?

Integrating his genes.

National Corvette Museum

I couldn't find the National Geo Storm Museum.

Sauna Pants

Korean (Engrish) ad pitch:
DIDN'T YOU TAKE YOUR TESTICLES ROUGHLY WHEN YOU ENJOYED HOTBATH, SAUNA...
PLEASE, LISTEN TO THE SEED'S CRYING CAUSED BY PAINFUL THERMAL SHOCK!
IN KOREA, OLD MEN SAY THAT THE SWEET BOY SHOULD BROUGHT UP AS CHILLY AS POSSIBLE.

Spawn of Satan

Flash. Not evil, but not nice.

Self-Cooled Kegs

Weapons of mass destruction.

The Electronic Frontier Foundation

A civil liberties group engaged in the digital age issues of consumer rights, privacy, cencorship and intellectual property.

Sitting My Ass Off, Huh ?

Huh My Huh
So You Don't Have To.
Huh, Huh

The Hodag

My pick for the most unusual/unique high school mascot.

The Captive

Flash. A prisoner secretly sends typewritten pleas for help to the outside world. Should we tolerate this kind of monkey business ? Judge for yourself.

Bikini Line Love Shaver

"...will not bite your v----- or t-------- !" Public service is my calling.

The Democratic Underground

For subterranean liberals.

Marionette Hotties ( not exactly )

Don't throw away your blow-up doll just yet.

Wankers

Roses for Rosie Palm.

Fair Use: FAQ

Copyright infringement or a "fair use" ? Only your judge knows for sure.

Sitting My Ass Off

Site launched: July 2, 2003